Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
