so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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