I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Its about making memories worth repressing
im six kinds of drunk right now
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
