If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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