operation harelip BJ is a go
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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