I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize