sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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