Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
