I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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