White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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