This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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