I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
