so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
