I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
