Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Randomize
