i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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