so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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