i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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