when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
operation harelip BJ is a go
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
