Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
