He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
