I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize