is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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