I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
