ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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