watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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