grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
