new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
