We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
