the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
