is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
