pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize