Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
