If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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