like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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