oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize