You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
