is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
