Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
