And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
