She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
