so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
