She's JV to your varsity
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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