All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
