i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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