hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
