I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
