holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
