I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
