i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
