Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize