how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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