.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The power of my boobs compel you
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
