mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize