I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
is that a dick in a sweater?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
