Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she told me i tasted like america
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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