My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
