He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
