He disabled his match.com account in front of me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
