Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
