i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
