theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
