if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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