Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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