so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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