i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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